I worked at this cram school and got a few pictures..

owners son
so blurry guys Im sorry

Today will be my last day of working at this cram school

Hello everyone

If you're curious about my life then I guess I can tell you a bit.
I will start with the routine mundane things first.
I am 27 years old, identified female, intrinsic traveler.
I struggle every day with anxiety.
I have a background in Psychology and interest in Theology, Philosophy, Linguistics, Anthropology, ect.

So I am currently subbing around at different cram schools in Tainan, Taiwan because I really detest being signed into a contract of any kind. It is going well because I was at first quite motivated and made some DIY fliers of me being an English tutor and I have thus found interesting college kids to teach.

I honestly feel Taiwan can hold me back a bit (my A type personality isn't always accepted or appreciated here) and I often feel unchallenged, unstimulated, and bored here.
Though there are alternative activities and events I am used to being in countries / areas where there is even more of a common mindset and believe about all of this stuff. Taiwanese strict education and cultural "repressive" (only in my western opinion) values can really make people inhibited from showing a lot of expression. There are of course exceptions to these rules, but as as general intake I feel it is definitely not the country with the best fit for my personality type. On the other hand it is a country (as most are) where westerners have an extreme upperhand and cost of living versus how much you make is extremely favorable here. Maybe that's why so many westerners get stuck teaching here for awhile. If you are very entrepreneurial you can easily start a business here. Many men find a local wife and do this.

Anyway.. goodbye to these children today. And my nice coworkers. Sorry I gave the kids too much candy. But i'm a funny teacher so it's appreciated. I want more videos of me teaching..

Time to get what I want no?

Im out.

Advice? Ideas? Ok!

Krista's Day Today

Hey guys.

I'm going to try to blog more.

I want people to get a simple feeling for my life.

I will try my best to use pictures and make it interesting.. So.. here goes!

My day today..

Woke up around 5 am. Realized I hadn't brushed my teeth. Got up did that. Then begrudgingly went back to bed.

 I was getting a late start seeing as I wanted to make this my day off and go far into the mountains. (In Taiwan you have to do a lot of planning for this because of the mountain roads have less traffic to hitchhike and busses so it takes more preparation)

So I woke up again. This time 9:40am. You'd think that'd be early enough but not really. I had to check all my English teaching appointments and messages. Sounds like it is more work than it actually is though.

I decided to go to Guanzilian Hot Spring since I was getting a late start and it isn't so far from Tainan. Biked to the station. Got lost again. As always. Just a little lost though. You'd think after being here over 2 weeks and biking around a lot I'd get the hang of things..

At the station had my regular OCD neurotic freak out and over complicated things and got a bit frustrated. Got on the train. My entitled rebellious self caused me to not pay for the train ticket as usual. The punishment can be minimal and you save money this way if ticket paying ethics aren't your thing. I just like cutting corners and feeling rebellious I guess. It's just American street smarts coming into play. If you're not hurting anyone not paying for a ticket and can get away with it, then why not? Of course if everyone did this the system would fail. But in Taiwan people generally like to follow the rules.

Had to transfer busses two times. I would've liked to hitchhike but easily avoiding bus fares seems smarter because often hitching in Taiwan though easy can be a bit confusing with Chinese only signs sometimes and often lack of wifi. 

At the train station met an older man playing a cheaply made, old traditional instrument as people don't usually beg here. They have some activity as their front for their begging. It is seen as more honorable. He only spoke Tai-yu (the local old Han-Chinese dialect that Taiwan had long ago adopted as their native tongue, minust the actual natives that is) and seemed friendly but he started to say things like "Wo Taiwan baba" And asking "curry" which means can. I figure he wanted to be my Taiwanese father figure. I nodded politely (bowing in a new habit learnt from Japan) and he proceeded to inappropriately hug me and grab my butt. Then point to his can that he was asking for money. Seeing as I have had these experiences somewhat often and have become numb to them I didn't respond much and left. What a poor move to make.. But traveling alone as a woman and being too polite can get you in these situations. It is hard to know when to be polite and when to be assertively distant. I like to be friendly and let my guard down often and suffer the consequences.

Made it to the bus station afterward. OCD neurosis again over complicating things, but I calmed down and began the trip. Trying to practice my trip I talked to a nice woman who works in China near Hong Kong and she was eager to talk to me. She was an Australian dual citizen living also in Melbourne so she was a bit liberal and fluent in her English. 

Again I was friendly with staff to try and calm my OCD neurosis and practice speaking Chinese. The worker was an older man being very accommodating proceeded to stop the driver from driving off in time to repeatedly say how beautiful Americans are. I didn't find it flattering so much as its a term I could coin 'whitetification'. Basically the obsession with Westerners being better and more ideal. The Taiwanese woman living in China and Australia and I talked about the unfair nature of racial profiling and expectation in Taiwan and China, specifically Hong Kong. That if you can speak English people are suddenly much more friendly and treat you so much better. And if you are western looking you get even more acknowledgment  and care. 

I made it the the hot springs area. Kinda seemed very sub par. Many resorts being developed. Overpriced and limited restaurants. I quickly decided it wasn't for me so much and looked for the junky backroads.

I found a mysterious giant hotel that was desolate and up for sale. I wanted to walk to the top, but of course my arch enemy in exploration was there.. hiding in the corner. Street dogs. They are everywhere. I got used to them in Mexico and did my exploration anyway but they can easily be provoked and bite I guess. They always ruin my time trying to find somewhere to camp or explore. I am not a big fan of dogs honestly as many may know. I think they can be too clingy and also aggressive. But there is plenty of good dogs. But yea I loved Japan because it has very very few dogs. Even as pets they are much less popular. Seems everyone is more into cats in Japan.

I started walking up one of the two options of unmarked mountain roads and saw all the Binlang trees; beetle nut. It's the popular blood looking palm tree seed that is like tobacco when you activate the leaf and seed with some snail seashell + chalky lime chemical. I have tried them in Borneo (Malaysia), Northern Philippines (Sagada region), and in Taiwan. I never can handle it for long. It is bitter and makes you salivate a lot. I never feel the high. It is supposed to be very bad for you also. But I want to experience it, as all indigenous people used it as a sacred plant. So I think it can carry a lot of forgotten knowledge.

As I was walking up Binlang mountain road I saw a woman watering her hogs. The baby hogs were so cute. All of them were cute in that smelly Muslims (sorry if that offends anyone. I can say it was hilarious in Malaysia to see at the Borneo Eco Film festival a local Malay woman having to watch a clip of people slaughtering pigs. It is the most dirty and horrific thing for them. Pigs that is) hate you kind of way. The woman seemed to have a demeanor similar to that in my experience of a no-bullshit kind of Irish hardened farmer. She didn't care about me. But it was ok to watch her water the hogs. I noticed her husband was probably a retired police officer judging his age and the police sticker decal on his car. He didn't care about me either. Which is fine. It's just interesting to see both perspectives from different local Taiwanese people. Adoration or Indignation. 

Ok so I figured now is the time to try and hitchhike I guess. So I do. The wrong way. Because I didnt know what to see in the area with my limited time so the most touristy thing is this small cave that they set on fire. Maybe the mud hot springs has a special chemical in it that makes the water light on fire naturally or stay lit. I got a ride with a Binlang chewing redneck farmer type who didnt speak any English. That's ok I tried my limited Chinese. He wasn't a pervert so I was just thankful for this.

Got to the fire cave and everything was closing. Many Chinese tourist busses still there. They often annoy everyone and ruin the natural peace of the environment. The workers of the closing local shops seemed so very nice. An indonesian looking worker walked up her lonely path to what looked like as staff housing. She had 5 plastic bags. She looked as young as 18. I wondered what job contract she got to be out here and about her story. I wanted to speak my limited Bahasa with her if she was in fact Indonesian. 

One of the friendly redneck older workers took notice in me. In my limited Chinese I could tell him yes I am walking and I know there is no buss here. He called his friend and I think if I understood right told him to pick up the white foreign girl (as there isn't many here ever it seems). I thanked him and tried to support his business buying some tea flavored eggs. He instead was very kind and gave them to me. I asked his name and he said I think "It doesn't matter" and take care, you have a ride with my friend.

But being a white (sorry to keep bringing that up but it is a big part of privilege) y-gor-ran (foreinger) woman I instantly got helped by the only other staff with a car there. They were also not speaking English. They took me to their beautiful families scenic shop and to meet their granddaughter who had lived in Taipei and spoke fairly fluent English. She was very kind and helpful. Her mom gave me a ride down to wear the busses actually come in their hometown of Baihe. I talk to the girl about the different of north and south Taiwan. She says she supports the south and that Taipei is very arrogant, but she has family there and goes often still.

Then I see a very long fingernailed dirty crazy young homeless guy. He had a bear and long hair. (Honestly these guys could be attractive to me it they were a little more with it, because at least they look a bit alternative and messy) He was digging thru the trash for food so I gave him the dinner I had ordered and didn't really enjoy (fried noodles with pork and vegetables). Honestly I hate a lot of Taiwanese food. It is very very bland and repetitive and limited for me, like cheap watered down Chinese food. I know this will offend a lot of people though so I don't say much about it. Honestly I haven't even been able to eat lately because of my distaste of Taiwanese food. I miss Japan.. Anyway the guy stared at my food all tripped out and slightly picked at it, eating some. He got on the bus we me afteward and proceeded to spill all of the noodles onto the ground and himself. He seemed frusterated and went into a trance of his own zoned out world. Maybe he's on some hard drugs. I'm not sure which is so popular here in Taiwan amongst the small homeless population. I gave him a bag and he accepted it and put it on the ground along with the noodles. Hmm..

Too tired to write more guys. >_< But you get the picture!

Relapse.
Collapse.
It's a pattern.
Of unbalanced symmetry,
Who are you?
Are you what you need to be?

My Christmas 2016 in the Philippines

So I want to briefly recount my experiences for these famous dates for 2016 before I forget them.

So I had been in the Philippines for my free one month visa and chose to lose money and miss my flight to Thailand to extend my visa in Baguio (North of Manila Luzon Philippines) so I could spend Christmas in a country in asia that celebrated it. And I am glad I did because it took me on the path that I am now randomly to Taiwan (honestly I was very uncertain about Taiwan and how I would do it here.. had a different mindset but I've made it here luckily :))

For Christmas I was in the lovely town of Lucban the art capitol of the province of Quezon Luzon Philippines with a lovely missionary clown friend and his family.. Cris Abad. He was dressed as a clown for a kid's play at the city hall of this small neighboring town and he explained how he had just traveled asia and likes connecting with foreigners and helping out those who need friends or a place to go... so he invited me up to the party and took me home to meet his mom and family.

Luckily the Philippines in my experience of being there for 2 months is yet another warm very friendly catholic country where strangers and families take you into your home. But Muslim, Athiest, and Christian countries alike are all as welcoming. Just Taiwan has a very different culture that's a bit more distant.. I am used to it now but I do miss the open friendly nature of the Philippines..

To expand on later.

I'm sorry neighbor

For my messy yard.
I just haven't found time to take care of it..
I've been so busy you know..
Getting so lost in my own discontent and dissent.
When I see you home wanting to chat I don't always make the time..
You see i've been so very busy.. abandoning life.
On the surface I might seem quite busy.
And I hope you understand that we all go silent.
When we relive our posterchild dreams.
And think about how.. we never got the chance to say goodbye
To our dead friends.. enemies.. family.. insects.
Anyways sorry for the lack of maintenance in all regards.

Because we will eventually lose youth

I am moved by this title..